Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Why Mama #1, Mama #2 and Mama #5012?

This is me, Mabel, contemplating life and such.

Hi All, Mabel here. Once again, I am writing to you from my favorite comfy couch.
One of my many, faithful, loyal fans asked the question, Who are Mom #1, Mom #2, and Mama #5012?
Good question! I haven't meant to confuse anyone; the numbers and the Mamas they go with are just second nature to me.
I suppose Mom #1 and Mom #2 have real names. I don't really care what their real names are; what really matters is how they treat me. (That does sound a little harsh; Let me state for the record that I really do love and adore my Mamas!).
If I'm fed, the person who feeds me is Mama #1. If she makes me go out in the rain (or snow) to do my business, then she quickly drops to Mama # 5012. 
If I'm taken on a forced march (or a "walk"), the Mama taking me is Mama # whatever number I'm feeling at the moment. Right now, a forced march Mama would be Mama #7120. (Thank goodness only one of my Mamas ever takes me on forced marches). 

High number = making me do things I don't like or want to do.

On the other paw, a Mama who gives me some delicious table scraps is Mama #1. Are you beginning to understand? Treating me well will get you called Mama #1. Treating me badly (in my diva opinion) will get you called Mama # 1000+.
Do I get to sleep under your magically warm blanket? Mama #1. Do I have to sleep on the cold, hard floor of the dog room? Mama #50,982.
Allow me to sneak into the cat's domain and eat cat food? Mama #1.

Low number = treating me nicely

If a Mama takes me to see my doctor when I'm feeling well (as opposed to sick), that's Mama #984. Did the doctor call me "overweight" or stick me with something sharp? Mama #7,421. (the bigger the wrong, the higher the number). Did my doctor give me dry, tasteless food to eat? Or huge pills to choke down?
Mama #10,003

I hope this helps you to understand the Mama #1 method.

This is me, Mabel, ready for a nap on my magically warm blanket on my favorite comfy couch.

For the record, I have two Mamas, one identical twin sister, one regular sister, three cat sisters (one is very evil) and one very special person, My Martha.
(The cats all belong to one Mama---the same Mama who takes me out marching every day; Mama #5510).
Love to all,
Your favorite Diva,

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