Rain, I hate rain!

This is me, Mabel, joyously running across my yard. Check out my amazing physique! 

Mabel here, your favorite Diva.
Today, I want to talk about rain.
You know, rain, that wet stuff that falls from the sky. I mean the type of rain that Mama #345* turns off and on. The rain that just falls on the front yard.
Mama #345 turned the rain on for the front yard tonight; I watched the rain go back and forth, back and forth across the yard. The grass in front of the house is nice and green.
Have you seen my pictures from my back yard? It's dry, brown, and prickly.  Why doesn't Mama #345 make it rain in my backyard? I am so tired of dust and dirt and crackly brown stuff! 
I want nice, soft, tall, green grass to walk through. I want soft grass to lay on. I want tall, thick grass to grow so that my pecans are hidden from Mama #345 (I only eat a pound or two every day--I don't know why she takes away all my pecans!). 
I'd like some soft ground to dig in, please.
After we have some real rain, the kind of rain that falls everywhere (and Mama #345 can't turn it off and on), Mama #345 goes out in my yard pulls up some of the sparse green stuff and throws it away. I watch her very, very closely. I'm trying to figure out what she's doing. Since she's pulling up green stuff,  I give her my best stink eye (She's pulling up my green stuff!! She calls it "weeds.")
Sometimes, I try to help. I dig up some green stuff, just like she does. She doesn't appreciate me. She tells me not to dig up the green stuff, so I dig in the ground instead. I dig hard and I dig deep. (I love digging!)  I'm really enjoy myself and am creating a really nice hole, when she suddenly drags me inside and pours water all over me! My paws and elbows were just a little bit muddy--my chest and hind legs weren't even dirty!
Pour that water on my yard! I'm just trying to help!
*I have 2 Mamas; If they are on my good side, they are Mama #1 and Mama #2. If they have done/are doing something I don't like, their number drops in proportion to their misdeed. Stealing my pecans is definitely worth a drop from Mama #2 to Mama #345.
**Mama #1 rarely drops below #1. Mama #2 regularly drops to Mama #2000+; especially when she takes me for a forced march (She calls them, "walks").