Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Diva in the Doghouse

This is me, Mabel. 
Oh, dear Diva fans, it's happened.
I never thought it would happen to me.
Of course, I never thought I'd be in exile in the dog room for so many, many months.
I guess this is the next step downhill for me.

It's a very sad story.
It was pouring down rain outside. (Not the type of rain that Mama #2 makes and moves around the yard; this was the real rain that falls directly - and magically - from the sky). It was late; we hadn't marched that night and it didn't look like we were going to go marching.
Hallelujah! A rest night. I thought I'd snooze peacefully on my comfy couch under my magically warm blanket for a few more hours until it was time to go to bed and sleep all night.
Who would want to move a peacefully snoozing dog?
Mama #1099 (number drop from Mama #2!) would!
Yes, I was grabbed and pulled from beneath my warm, cozy resting place under my blanket. I was carried through the house and tossed off the back porch into the backyard. 
It was wet. The grass, the grass was soaking wet. It was raining from the sky, too. This little low-rider Diva was getting wet from both above and below.
I did what a Diva with any sense would do; I ran for the doggy door to get back to my comfy couch.
Mama #2099 (number drop!) blocked me from jumping out of the very wet grass and heavy rain onto the nice, dry, sheltered porch.
She blocked me!
It made no sense, especially since Harley and Maggie just faked doing a "potty" and hopped up on the porch to a warm greeting and a chewy bone and a hug from Mama #2099!
Chewy Bone! My favorite treat! And they got one just for faking.
Well, a Diva never fakes, so I tried to jump onto the porch again. I want my chewy bone now!
Mama #3999 blocked my way again. She said, in a sickening sweet voice, "go potty, Mabel."
NO WAY! I said to myself. No way. 
Again, headed for the doggy door. Maggie and Harley were watching me from inside the warm, dry house and Maggie called out to me, "just fake it! Then come inside and get your chewy bone."
NO. Mama #4999 blocked my way. 
I stood in the rain, feeling very sorry for myself and feeling very pitiful, but I held tight to my standards and did not try to fake my way into the house. Mama #7899 just looked at me sitting in the wet grass. "Go potty, Mabel." She said it again and again and again.
I sat down. I glared at her. I would not do anything she asked me to now, not even if I really, really needed to. That's just how it was.
We glared at each other.
I outlasted her. She turned and went in the house. I sighed with relief. 
Then, I heard her give MY chewy bone treat to Harley and Maggie.
No way! Not my chewy bone!
I raced into the house, but it was too late. My chewy bone was chewed. Gone.
I sulked back to my now not so comfy couch and my semi-cold blanket and glared at Mama #9999.  How could she? 
How could she?
How could she treat her famous Diva like that?
Since that horrible night, Mama #9999 tried a couple of times to get me to go into the kitchen for a chewy bone. I'm not going. I'm not going to do anything she asks me to, even if I might like or enjoy it. 
I have to maintain my Diva dignity; I've ignored her and remained safely under my blanket on my comfy couch. I refuse the chewy bones on principle. 
Harley sometimes comes and cuddles up next me. Just feeling my twin sister under my paw helps me feel better (even if she did betray me and ate MY chewy bone)!

This is me, Mabel, snoozing under my magically warm blanket. I'd really like a chewy bone....

Mama #9999 may be ready to apologize to me for my horrible mistreatment the other night.
She came over to my special place on the couch today, raised up my blanket and gently laid a chewy bone next to me 
I think I won!
I am finally getting her trained.
This will be the best tasting chewy bone I've had in days!
Now, if I can just get her to give up marching.
Note from Mama #9999: Mabel stubbornly refused to go potty the other night in the rain. We had quite a long stand-off. Now, she acts as if she's scared of treats and runs the other way when I get out her favorite chewy bones. I did try to apologize tonight by taking a chewy bone to her. 
I don't think I've been forgiven yet.
Maybe she'll feel better after we take a walk tonight.

1 comment:

  1. Dearest Mabel,
    Exactly WHEN did this happen?? BEFORE or AFTER Mama #1001 and Mama # 26999 LEFT YOU and Harley and Maggie ALL ALONE for over an entire day, INCLUDING a night time (!!) ?? ALONE! I never would have believed it if I hadn't stopped by yesterday and seen it for myself. We are going to have to get together to decide what measures must be taken to get these two Mama's back in line. Tell Maggie and Harley we're going to have a house meeting to formulate our plan. And tell them NOT to tell the "mama's" that they are about to find out EXACTLY which 3 alpha dogs are in charge here!!!!!!
    Aunt Martha

    P.S. You look more beautiful than ever.