Saturday, April 5, 2014

Why Mama #1, Mama #2 and Mama #5012?

This is me, Mabel, contemplating life and such.

Hi All, Mabel here. Once again, I am writing to you from my favorite comfy couch.
One of my many, faithful, loyal fans asked the question, Who are Mama #1, Mama #2, and Mama #5012?
Good question! I haven't meant to confuse anyone; the numbers and the Mamas they go with are just second nature to me.
I suppose Mama #1 and Mama #2 have real names. I don't really care what their real names are; what really matters is how they treat me. (That does sound a little harsh; Let me state for the record that I really do love and adore my Mamas!).
If I'm fed, the person who feeds me is Mama #1. If she makes me go out in the rain (or snow) to do my business, then she quickly drops to Mama # 5012. 
If I'm taken on a forced march (or a "walk"), the Mama taking me is Mama # whatever number I'm feeling at the moment. Right now, a forced march Mama would be Mama #7120. (Thank goodness only one of my Mamas ever takes me on forced marches). 

High number = making me do things I don't like or want to do.

On the other paw, a Mama who gives me some delicious table scraps is Mama #1. Are you beginning to understand? Treating me well will get you called Mama #1. Treating me badly (in my diva opinion) will get you called Mama # 1000+.
Do I get to sleep under your magically warm blanket? Mama #1. Do I have to sleep on the cold, hard floor of the dog room? Mama #50,982.
Allow me to sneak into the cat's domain and eat cat food? Mama #1.

Low number = treating me nicely

If a Mama takes me to see my doctor when I'm feeling well (as opposed to sick), that's Mama #984. Did the doctor call me "overweight" or stick me with something sharp? Mama #7,421. (the bigger the wrong, the higher the number). Did my doctor give me dry, tasteless food to eat? Or huge pills to choke down?
Mama #10,003

I hope this helps you to understand the Mama #system.

This is me, Mabel, ready for a nap on my magically warm blanket on my favorite comfy couch.

For the record, I have two Mamas, one identical twin sister, one regular sister, three cat sisters (one is very evil) and one very special person,  Martha.
(The cats all belong to one Mama---the same Mama who takes me out marching every day; Mama #5510).
Mama #1 is almost always Mama #1. Mama #2 sometimes makes it as high as Mama #1b, but usually is Mama #2 or lower.
Love to all,
Your favorite Diva,

1 comment:

  1. I can understand that good 4 u only a diva could figure out a system such as that lol