Friday, November 29, 2013

Diva Diet, Day 2

This is me, Mabel, looking tired and weary after two days of dieting.

Diva Diet, Day 2.
Today was a very long day.
My Mamas left this morning as usual. They left that new, nasty, tasteless diet dog food in all of the bowls again.
I was hungry.
Really hungry.
But not hungry enough to eat that food.
So, I waited for Mama #2 to come home mid-day like she always does.
She didn't come home.
I sat in my den and sulked. I had my mid-day break all planned out.

"This is me, Mabel. I'm starving. Can't you hear my stomach growling? I can barely move, I am so hungry. No, I won't go outside with you;  I'm too hungry. No, I won't even go into the dining room with you; I am too hungry."

I thought she might be convinced and give me a treat or something delicious. But she didn't even come home mid-day.
I waited. It got late. It got dark.
I was starting to consider eating that dry, tasteless dog food. I walked to the nearest food bowl and it was empty. I went to the next bowl, empty! "There's no food left," my super smart sarcastic stepsister Maggie laughed. "Harley and me and our sister cats ate it. All of it. Too bad you're going to starve to death soon." Then, Maggie turned her back on me and walked away. 
 I really was going to starve! I almost lost my Diva composure and started to panic.
Then, I remembered the pecan trees in the back yard.
I went outside to find a few pecans to eat. I found nothing at all. Nothing!
This is me, Mabel, searching desperately for a pecan to eat.
I went back inside to sleep. I thought I might die in my sleep ----yes, I was that hungry.
Finally, the Mamas finally came home.
I did my "Mama's home dance" with my dog sisters. Then, I quickly laid down to show I was really starving to death and had zero energy.
Mama #1 went into the dog room and came back with a bowl of food. 
The Diet Food! No!
She gave me a piece. I dropped it on the couch. She gave me another piece. I dropped it on the couch. She gave Harley a bite and then gave Maggie a bite. Maggie looked over at me, "Not eating again? You are one stupid Diva Dog!" She leaned over and snatched the two pieces of food I'd dropped on the couch. Then she snickered.
OK. It appeared I was going to starve if I didn't eat this diet stuff. So, I ate the next bite. I just swallowed it. Whole. 
Mama #1 gave me another piece. I tried chewing this one, because I just couldn't swallow another piece without chewing it up.
The Mamas won.
I ate the diet food.
It was good.
I mean, it was really, really good! No wonder my sisters and my cat sisters had emptied the food bowls! This was really good stuff!
I had to stop myself from gulping down all of the food in the bowl.
I let Mama #1 feed it to me, piece by piece. I couldn't let her think she'd won. I'll eat my usual bowl of food tomorrow.
But tonight, after Mama #1 finished hand feeding me, 


Life is good again.
Your favorite Diva,
This is me, Mabel, finally feeling relaxed and happy after eating my ham and turkey.

Sunday, November 24, 2013

I am so tired of cold weather!

This is me, Mabel, trying to walk through my backyard.
Hi all, Mabel here. I've had a horrible few days!
Most of my fans know that I hate cold weather (Cold = below 65 degrees) and wet weather (even damp weather!).
Well, it's very, very cold here.
There is icy white stuff everywhere.
It fell from the sky and it is going nowhere. It is just sitting in my backyard being cold and wet.
I want to file a complaint about this with someone.
My Mamas just laugh at me when I complain. 

 Here I am, leading my twin sister Harley to warmth & safety (I'm the one in front, just in case you can't tell us apart).

Just three very long days ago, I was laying in the sun, soaking up the warmth. 
What happened to my warm sun?
I want my warm sunny weather.
I might even be willing to go on a forced march, if it were warm again.
I'm desperate!
I'll wait under my magically warm blanket on my favorite comfy couch until my friend, the sun, comes back.
Until then,
Your Diva,

This is me, Mabel, soaking up sun in my backyard. 
I hope to this again sometime very soon.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Dear Diva Mabel:

We need to talk.

It's been another sleepless night for me. 

As far as our sleeping space, I can't get anything 

bigger than a king-size bed. I'very sorry about this. 

(Honestly, I am sorry). It'd  be so much easier to sleep at 

night if I had a bigger bed and had a little extra room to 

move around you and Harley and Maggie and your three cat 


Did you know that dogs and cats (and Divas!) can actually 

curl up in a ball when they sleep. It's not necessary to sleep 

stretched out to your full length. And sticking 

your tail out straight  to maximize your space is just not fair.

And, some animals like to sleep very close together. Have 

you and your cat sisters ever thought about cuddling?

Quit laughing, Mabel. I'm serious.


Mama #2

(Soon to be known as Mama #4007---right after you read 


Sunday, November 17, 2013

Harley meets an itty bitty person

Hi all, it's me, Mabel, broadcasting to you from my favorite comfy couch.
 As you can see, I am carefully watching something/someone.
Now, you might ask, what am I watching?
I'm not really sure.
We, that is, me, Harley, Maggie and the Mamas, had a visitor this afternoon. It was an itty bitty tiny miniature person.
I have never seen anything like it! 
My identical twin sister, Harley, meeting the itty bitty miniature person. You can tell it's Harley because it says so on her name tag
A person I knew when I was just a pup, finally came to visit me today. I was so happy to see her again! She came to visit us with My Martha (my favorite person in the world besides my Mamas).
And, this itty bitty person came too.
Well, me and Harley didn't quite know what to do. This itty bitty person didn't have a lap to sit on. And he couldn't throw any toys for us to catch.
So, we sniffed a lot.

 This is my sister, Harley, sniffing the miniature person.
Maggie watched, from far away.
My older sister, Maggie, closely observes the tiny person.
I think we did everything right. 
He acted a little strangely.
He made gurgling noises.
He drooled.
He crawled on the floor.
I think he tried to chew on my table.
Everyone watched him like he was something very special.
Except for Mama #2.
She just took pictures, like the gadget freak that she is.
I think he was a human pup.
I hope Mama #2 doesn't decide to find a stray human pup to bring home and keep. (She really, really likes strays).
It was nice to have an itty bitty person as a visitor, but I don't think we need one of our own.
Are you listening, Mama #2?
Your Diva,

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Miss Sunsets, aka "Midnight Marching"

I like sunsets.
Sunset is just starting at my favorite park
For a long time now, Mama #2 took Harley and I marching every night at sunset. 
I love being out at sunset.
I can't really see sunsets very well from my backyard. There's too many trees and wires and houses and stuff. I can see clouds,
Clouds, as seen from my (Mabel's) yard.
And, some nights, clouds are nice too.
But, I really like sunsets.
Another sunset at my favorite park
There's just something about all the colors in the sky and the shadows. 
Yes, it's amazing. 
I miss my sunsets.
Since everything moved later in the evening ("time change"), my forced marches are now taken in the dark.
I mean, it's really, really dark.
Something has to change about my evening forced marches.
I don't like marching in the dark! 
I don't like it just like I don't like marching when it's cold (below 65 degrees) or when it's wet (I hate wet grass, wet sidewalks, and wet streets!) or when the wind is blowing (I don't like the wind blowing my ears out of place). 
The wind blowing my ears when I was a young pre-diva. I didn't like it then and I don't like it now.

I drag my paws and walk v-e-r-y  s-l-o-w-l-y  when it's dark or cold or wet or windy.
I am miserable and I want everyone else to be miserable too.
I'd rather be at home under my magically warm blanket than marching in the dark.
Harley and Maggie don't mind the dark.
Mama #2 puts the neck ropes on them and away they go. If I weren't marching with them, they'd march so fast they'd almost run. And they'd enjoy it.
But, since it gets dark right after Mama #2 comes home, Harley and I have to march with Maggie, my super smart, know it all stepsister, instead of just the two of us.When Mama #2 used to get home earlier in the day, she'd take Maggie marching by herself and then take me and Harley out together.
It's really tough, trying to march in harmony with my sister, Maggie, and Mama #2, especially when I can't see more than a few steps ahead and cars with blindingly bright lights keep driving by.
I hate marching in the dark.
But I love sunsets.
Mama #2, please come home earlier if I'm going to have to march every night. We can go marching at sunset. I promise I won't drag my paws! 
(I reserve the right to change my mind later and maybe drag my paws).

 Another sunset. I didn't get to see this one in person, but I like the picture. Maybe I can go there one day.

Note: Mabel continues to have trouble adjusting to Daylight Savings Time. She really, really hates taking her walks after dark. Unfortunately, it does get dark earlier now, so she doesn't have a choice. If we're going to walk, she has to walk in the dark.
-----Mama #2

Monday, November 11, 2013

Everyone's Late!

Here I am, waiting for Mama #2 to get up. 
Hi everyone, Mabel here. I want to talk to you today about a very serious problem that's been going on for a full week in my house.
Everyone is late now.
The Mamas get up later every day. They leave in the mornings later. They even come home later every afternoon.
And, they go to sleep later at night, too.
What's going on? 
Harley and I bravely try to shake them out of bed every day. (I really do mean we are being brave; it's risky to wake up Mama #2 before she's ready to wake up!).
Harley specializes in jumping on a Mama; I specialize in sitting on a Mama's chest and staring into her face. Sometimes, I even have to bark a little.
Maggie, she just complains because her breakfast is late. She runs around and barks now and then, telling Mama #1 that it's time for her (our) breakfast. Maggie doesn't like eating breakfast late and neither do I.
Our Mamas are not thinking about us and our poor, hungry stomachs.
I've never experienced anything like this, but Maggie says it's happened before. She reminded me of earlier this year, when the Mamas suddenly were early. They got up early, they left early, they fed us early, and so on. Maggie thinks this lateness may be related to their early spell.
I didn't mind eating early. 
I didn't mind the Mamas coming home early or even going to sleep early 'way back then.
Come to think of it, I don't really mind sleeping later now in the mornings. 
Mama #2 likes to do things to an extreme; it's always all or nothing. 
I think this is her fault.
Could we compromise? Sleep late, but get breakfast on time? Come home early in the afternoons, but stay up late?
That would be OK with me. And with Harley too.
So, could life just go back on it's normal schedule? Get up early, get breakfast on time, etc.?
This is Harley, asking the Mamas to get back on a regular schedule.

Note From Mama #2: Mabel is having problems adjusting to Daylight Savings Time. She really hates jumping an hour forward in the Spring, but usually does OK in the Fall. This year, she just can't seem to adjust---or maybe it's her stomach that can't adjust; Mabel and Harley really, really like to eat. A "late" breakfast is not OK.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Open house

Hi All, Mabel here. It's been a tough day.
This is me, Mable, sitting on my comfy couch. As you can see, I'm feeling a little nervous today.
It's been a really, really long, tough day at my house.
Our Good Neighbors (as opposed to our Really Noisy Neighbors) are having an Open House this weekend.
I think "Open House" means, "Everyone come and visit!"
This is what our street looks like:
There are many, many cars parked outside our home.
OK, that's not really a picture of my street, but that's what I think it looks like outside my house.
All day, cars and people coming and going, coming and going. Doors slamming, people talking, laughing, and walking through my front yard.
It's enough to make my poor sister, Harley, feel a little crazy.

 This is my twin sister, Harley, looking and acting a little crazy.
This has been going on for hours and hours. What's a poor dog like Harley with an anxiety disorder to do? (Except feel anxious...).
Even Maggie, my super smart, unemotional, step-sister is a bit rattled with all of the noise outside.

This is Maggie, looking rattled.
And me, your Diva, is just hanging in there. 
Until next time,
Love to all,

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Halloween and a Photo Op

Hi, this is Mabel. I'm writing to you from my backyard, since I have been banished to the back of the house since the yesterday.
It's not as bad as exile to the dog room; we still have access to one small bedroom (and a real bed!) as well as the dog room and the entire backyard).
Our Mamas have left us for a couple of days. Our new friend, Huey, is taking care of us.

Thursday night, or Halloween, as some very strange people call it, passed almost quietly at my house. 
After an early scary warning about Halloween night:
We just heard that ghost and zombies would knock on our door! (and maybe a fairy princess, too). Harley's the bug-eyed twin on the right (in case you can't tell us apart).
Harley and I practiced relaxation exercises all afternoon so Harley wouldn't fall into a huge panic attack when the zombies arrived.
Here I am, coaching Harley on her deep breathing exercises. (I am the twin on top, just in case you can't tell us apart). Harley learned quickly how to breathe deeply and relax.
I'd barely finished Harley's relaxation training (and Harley was very relaxed), when Mama #2 said, "Time to go on a March." 
A Forced March.
My twin was all relaxed and ready to snooze through zombies and ghosts coming to the house, and Mama #2 wanted to march.
Oh, well.
She put on our neck ropes and off we went.
Marching through the neighborhood.
Did I mention this is my most unfavorite time of year?
People put weird things in their yards.
Look at this:
 And this:

I marched quickly. I thought that if Harley didn't have time to look at the weird yards, she wouldn't dissolve into an anxiety attack.
We didn't see anyone on a horse, though.
Yes, I marched very quickly. Usually, I drag my paws and march very slowly so that I can sniff deeply and enjoy the smell smorgasbord for my nose.
No time for that today. I had to get Harley home and help her to relax before the zombies and ghosts came.
As we  marched, Maggie noticed the vans of people driving by.
Driving by slowly.
People staring out their windows at us.
Vans full of people, slowly driving beside us as we marched, then quickly driving away towards the scary yards.
Even I felt a bit anxious about all the vans. 
Harley was ready to start barking. And barking.
Maggie was thinking hard, trying to figure out what was going on. Why were all these vans driving beside us, and who were all these people staring at us? And why did they drive off and stop at the scary houses?
Did Mama #2 care? Nope. Mama #2 just kept on marching.
Suddenly, a van pulled up beside us. 
I jumped on Harley, just to keep her safe.  I was pretty sure this one was a dognap attempt.
Suddenly, Maggie realized what was going on; We were a stop on the Haunted House tour!
They'd spotted me, the Famous Diva, out on her daily march!
Harley, Maggie, and I quickly stepped into formation and began marching in perfect step. My Fans. I had to give them good photo ops.
The vans of people (my fans!) kept driving by us, slowly. We practiced our posing as we took our photo ops. I hope at least one or two make the national news.
Me, on the cover of Time Magazine.
I can only hope.
Anyway, after a long afternoon of marching and posing, we marched home to wait for the zombies to arrive.
Harley, Mama #2 and I hunkered down in the back room to await the arrival of the supernatural beings.

Harley chomped furiously on a chewy stick.
The doorbell rang, and the first group came and went. No problems. Harley just kept on chewing.
More people at the door. We heard Mama #1 say something like, "aren't you cute; what are you?" I felt Harley stiffen as she considered the possibilities of what kind of "cute" monster was at our door.
I had to jump on Harley just to keep her from running to the door to see what a "cute" monster/zombie/ghost looked like.
Anyway, the evening passed, and we survived. Harley did not have an anxiety attack and none of the zombies who knocked on the door tried to make Mama #1 into a zombie.
I wonder what it'd be like to be a zombie dog?
Never mind; Divas can't be zombies.
Halloween's over. Time for a nap. Haley's exhausted, that's why I have my ear over her head.