Saturday, June 29, 2013


This is Mabel, your favorite Diva.
I have been abandoned by both my Mamas. They departed yesterday morning and have not been seen since.
They spent the entire day before they disappeared putting clothes, etc. into boxes with wheels ("suitcases"). Of course, Mama #2 found time to drag me on a forced march (in the dark of night!) the night before they disappeared.
We knew they were gone when My Martha came to the house. My Martha moves in when the Mamas are going to be gone for awhile.
My Martha is a very special person to us and we really like having her with us. She promised to feed and give us treats on schedule.
AND (!!!!!) My Martha does not believe in forced marches! She sits outside with us and watches us play and talks to us. Then, we watch TV or sleep.
I miss my Mamas, but I deserve a vacation too. My Martha is here so I can go on vacation.
I'd tell you more about what we're doing, but Mama #2 might see it and I'd get My Martha in trouble. Let me just say, we're having loads of fun and eating well.
Harley (my twin sister) and I, getting in some much needed rest.
In case you can't tell us apart (we're identical twins!) I'm the one on the bottom.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Mabel, your favorite Diva here

Mabel, your favorite Diva here, with an update on life.
I am #1 Pup again. 
Yes, I am #1 and I feel the tide turning my way. I have taken over the #1 couch position with little opposition. I now eat out of the #1 food bowl and everyone considers the dog den my territory.
How does it feel to be #1?
I also now am required to sleep in the guard position at the top of the stairs to the bed at night. I allow access to the bed only to the worthy. Maggie now sleeps in the other room. 
My other great wish: no forced marches! And for 2 evenings in a row now, my evening nap has not been disrupted by a mid-evening forced march! (Well, it did rain the first night and the second evening it was so dusty I couldn't see my back end when I went outside for a minute...). We've never gone for 2 days/nights in a row without marching!
(It's very odd; I almost miss marching...)
Now, if I could just make more food appear in my bowl, life would be perfect!
Slumber all day.
Snooze all evening.
Sleep all night.
Eat whenever I want.
And, have my twin sister Harley beside me. 
What else could I want?
Life is good.
Being #1 Pup is serious business. This is my serious face.

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Weekend Report: Divide and Trouble

My twin sister giving me a kiss. In case you can't tell us apart, I'm the one on the left.
Hello to all my loyal fans; Mabel the Diva here, reporting to you live from my favorite couch.
What a week this has been! Many, many interesting things are going on.
First, I had a return trip to my doctor. Yes, I had to go see Dr. H for my yearly physical. We used to be good friends, but ever since he told the world I had a big butt, he is on my DO NOT list. (you know, DO NOT talk to, DO NOT visit, DO NOT believe, etc). Last time I had to see him, he put me on a diet.
A few weeks ago, I posted that my diet was going well. And it was! I was not hungry at all! I just bumped Harley away from her food bowl whenever I was hungry (Harley didn't mind). I did not feel hungry any more and Harley lost weight. 
Maggie even lost weight. (I didn't bump her away from her food. I am not suicidal). I didn't lose an ounce. Dr. H proclaimed to all that my butt is still too big. 
Mama #1 is watching me closely now; Harley is no longer allowed to share and your Diva is afraid her rib bones will soon be her most prominent feature. 
Next item: Harley is now known as Harley #5000. Yes, the famous Mama rating system has now been applied to Harley. She is in more trouble now than we were when we had the crayon tasting party on Mama #1's favorite comforter. (I'll tell you about that some other time).
What did my dear sister do? She destroyed Mama #2's fan AND it's extension cord. Mama #2's fan is ruined and Harley is in so much trouble! (she is OK physically. When we had our crayon tasting party, we pooped in technicolor for two days! Harley has been watched closely and, I am happy to report, nothing unusual has passed. She is still her healthy self).
Last, but not least, Mama #2 did something very, very cruel to all of us on Thursday; she made each one of us do a forced march by ourselves! She said it would be a "treat" for us and called it "a loan time with the Mama," but, quite frankly, I hated it.
I walked as slowly as I could, but Mama #4239 made me march for miles by myself. She did the same to Harley and Maggie. Solitary forced marches for everyone. Mama #1 was not home that evening, so there was no one we could turn to to end the cruelty.
Ever since the solitary forced marches (Mama #2 calls them "walks"), Harley and I are very careful to do nothing that Mama #2 might not like on our marches (we are marching in our usual ranks since Thursday). We do not bark at cats or other dogs anymore and we do not try to run to the end of our neck ropes. If a strange dog assassin approaches us, we silently and quickly walk quickly away instead of confronting.
So far, this approach appears to please Mama #2. We will see how long we can restrain ourselves before Mama #2 makes us do our forced marches separately again. (She has threatened to do this at least once a week. Mama #1 does not like her to separate us --- because Harley and I should never, ever be apart----and because whoever is left behind makes horrible noises (and really sad doggy faces) whenever Mama #2 isolates us.
That is my week in review. 
Your Diva,
Mabel Ann the Diva poses for the camera. Isn't she gorgeous?

Sunday, June 9, 2013

My Cat sister, Agnes, gets hit in the head....

My cat sister, Agnes, Looking rather disheveled.
Being the gracious sister, I've waited to tell this story about Agnes until I was sure she was OK. Now that she is back to normal, I can tell all.
Remember the big, loud storm I wrote about last time? The one where something shot white marbles at my home, and put the lights out and the wind blew 80 mph?
Well, my cat sister Agnes, all 6 pounds of her, was stuck outside during the storm.
Yes, she is the wild one who likes to stay outside in all kinds of weather and hunt.She stays so skinny because she only likes to eat what she catches.
I guess she's not a very good hunter. (or why would she be so skinny?).
Anyway, Mama #2 called and called for her before the storm started, but she wouldn't come home.
Mama #2 worried about her. After all, she's come home before, soaking wet, after running for blocks through the rain. She roams all over the neighborhood. Have you read any of those articles about putting a GPS on a cat? They travel! Agnes would follow us for miles on our forced marches if Mama #2 would let her!
So, Agnes was missing all through the storm. Mama #2 started calling her again after the shooting, pounding marbles stopped. We waited. And waited. And waited. Suddenly, Agnes appeared in the back room. She was soaked; absolutely dripping wet.
Mama #2 tried to dry her off, but Agnes would have none of it. She escaped Mama's towel and just crouched on the floor, staring off into space. 
Mama #2 tried to hold her, but she ran. She looked kinda wild eyed and disheveled. I was even worried about her. I mean, if she wasn't OK, who would I chase? (Besides my cat sisters, Millie and Sam...).
Agnes stayed disheveled. She just crouched and stared. She wandered the house for two days just blankly staring off into space. Mama #2 was about to take her to the doc, especially after finding her eating cat food twice. (Agnes only eats what she catches. She never eats cat food!).
On day 3, after Mama #2 called Agnes' doctor, Agnes started to get back to normal.She went outside again, but stayed close to home. She never even left the yard.
Mama #2 tried to hold her. Usually, Agnes will cuddle and purr. For 2 long days (and nights) Agnes just sat (or crouched) and stared off into space. She would not purr. And she is a purr-a-holic. Usually, she purrs any time Mama #2 even looks at her. For 2 days after the storm, she wouldn't purr at all.
Today, she left before dawn and went back to her hunting grounds. "Good," I thought, "all is well with Agnes." 
But tonight, during our forced march, Mama #2 had marched us back to the house when, suddenly, she turned and marched us in front of the business's behind our house. I like marching there; there are food places with lots of great smells and once in a while, a bit of food to snatch off the ground.
So we marched through the parking lot. I noticed lots of people standing outside the buildings and pointing. I thought, "they are so happy and thrilled; they are watching a famous internet personality (me!)." 
Then I stopped dead in my tracks (that's an expression; I really wasn't dead). Mama #2 turned and saw a skinny little gray cat running after us and dashing through the crowds of people. It was her they were pointing at and talking about --- not me, not the world famous internet personality!
Now, is that fair? How does a scrawny little disheveled cat get that kind of attention? But she did! Everyone was pointing at her and talking. One female even wanted to pick her up and take her home!
Mama #2 told everyone, "that's my cat. That's Agnes." And people were amazed! They weren't amazed at how Maggie, Harley and I marched along in perfect step, but they were amazed at a skinny little gray cat because she was following us. I will never understand humans!
Mama #2 stopped and a stranger petted us, but all she talked about was how "that amazing little cat followed us." She even asked how Mama #2 taught her how to do that.
As if you could teach a cat anything!
Mama #2 marched us back home and kept calling Agnes to make sure she was following us. Because, I cannot lie, Agnes really thought about staying and hanging out at the restaurant on the corner. She once told me that she likes their french fries.(I guess she hunts and catches them).
She dashed through the outside eating place and just about scared this guy out of his chair. Now, me and my well behaved sisters would never do that---but we might try the french fries if someone offered us any.
As we turned the corner to home, we found the Evil Cat Millie lurking behind a fence. I told her she didn't have to ever come home again, but she still followed us home. 
Did I mention that she is actually Agnes' Mother? 
Maybe she thought Agnes was still acting strangely after getting hit in the head by all those marbles during the storm.
Anyway, Agnes is OK. She purred for about 10 seconds tonight, and Mama #2 was disgustingly happy to hear her finally purr again. 
Agnes knows how to work it! 
I know she's OK since she's traveling and hunting again--even if it's just french fries she's hunting. If I find her staring off into space and looking disheveled again, I'll know that she is really OK.
She just may be dreaming of french fries.
Maybe she'll come in next time before the storm begins. Tonight, it thundered once or twice. Agnes appeared inside instantly.
Agnes thinking about going over the fence

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Trauma! Long, Long Night. Big Storm!

To all my fans and readers,
I am SO happy to be alive tonight. Last night, I was not sure that my house, home, sisters and Mamas would still be standing or even alive today.
It was a BIG storm.
The wind was fierce.
I sensed the storm coming long before Mama #2 urged me to go outside to take care of my business. I tell you, I was fast. I hit the ground running and didn't stop until I was back on the couch. Maggie and Harley sniffed a little and stomped around a little and, when the pre-rain dust blew in, they got "dusted." 
No joking here; the wind came out of nowhere and blew about 80 mph (actually, 81mph; I told you, Mama #2 is a gadget freak).
80 mph! The house shook. I hunkered down and stayed very still on the couch, I knew that if I stayed very still, I could hold the house down and keep us all safe. Someone (Maggie) is spreading a false rumor that I was staying still because I was, you know, scared.
Then the lights went out. All the lights, inside and out. And the TV went off.
Everything went dark except mama #2 lapbox that she stares at all the time -- (it's what I write this blog on). Everything went dark except that darn lapbox! I don't know how Mama #2 does it, but she kept her gadgets working.
Then, in the dark, with the wind blowing and the rain pounding down, this stuff called "hail" started shooting down from the sky! I mean, it was like someone was firing it at the house -- it hit so hard. It was like a million marbles were shot at the house. 
Maggie hid under her blanket. Harley tried to work her way under the couch, but there's only an inch of space there. She had to run around instead. But she didn't bark; I was so proud of her!
Mama's #1 & #2 kept looking outside. Maybe there were trying to figure out who was shooting all those marbles at us. I don't know. I just know it was LOUD when they opened the door. Harley came and stood beside me for a few minutes as I held the couch down. She told me the yard was turning white from all the marbles falling. I didn't believe her, but here is a picture that Mama #2 took.
A pile of the white stuff (and rain, too)
Who else but Mama #2 would stand in a storm and take a picture?
It took forever for it to end. We were still in the dark; our lights wouldn't work. It was still raining and blowing, but the marbles quit shooting at the house. 
I am happy to report that by laying very still on the couch and holding it down, I was successful in keeping the house from blowing away. 
I am such a brave Diva.
There were lots of interesting things to sniff and examine in the yard today, but I couldn't get to all of them because a huge piece of tree blocked me into a tiny portion of my yard. Mama #1 finally moved the tree piece and let me verify that the rest of my yard was safe.
Harley and Maggie did not do their part to maintain the safety of the house during this crisis; therefore, I believe that I need to be appointed (for life) as Pup #1.
Please forward your comments to Mama #1 and Mama #2 in my support.

It's only fair.
Thank you.
Your Diva,
Your Diva (#1 Pup-to-be) thoroughly checked out the yard today

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Maggie is Top Dog again. Drat!

Your Diva has fallen from power.
How could such a horrible thing happen?
The last time I posted, Maggie had been shot (with water) by Mama #2. I boldly stepped up to take over the #1 Pup position.
I enjoyed the sweet life of #1 for a brief time. I was a great leader, but Maggie did not like serving under me. She was quietly waiting for her chance to regain the title of #1 Pup.
Then it happened.
It was so innocent.
I was carefully wandering through my living room, when I spied a big wonderful rawhide.
Yes, it was THAT rawhide. The one Maggie and I fought over last week. The one Maggie was shot over. The one that caused Mama #2 to drop down to Mama #Nonexistent.
I don't know what I was thinking -- actually, I do know what I was thinking, "there's that big wonderful rawhide and NO ONE else is around to snatch it!"
So I did. Snatch it, that is.
I was wrong.
I wasn't alone.
My dear big sister was somewhere, watching.
Before I knew what hit me, I'd been broadsided. Suddenly, I was on my side with Maggie laying on top on me, snarling, "What do you think you're doing?"
Harley jumped on me too, but just to see what was going on.
Mama #1 yelled louder that I think I've ever heard her yell. She didn't understand that Maggie was taunting me, not killing me.
Mama #2 grabbed Maggie and took her away. Mama #1 picked me up and snuggled me.
I'm no fool, "I can really play this!" I thought, while imagining the Mama giving me new, big rawhides, delicious canned dog food and, maybe even table scraps! Oh, my life just got a little sweeter.

Anyway, I played it. I moped. I kept my head down. I averted my eyes. I sighed. Alot. Mama #1 ate it up. Maggie just laid across the room and watched me, the Master Diva at work.
When Mama #2 came home a few hours later, I had Mama #1 completely wrapped around my paws. I laid it on thick again; I moped, I did the big, puppy eye thing.
I don't know what happened next. I guess Mama #2 doesn't fall under my spell as easily as Mama #1. All I know is things began to fall apart.
Maggie and Mama #2 have always been tight. Maggie immediately appealed to her as soon as she walked in the door. Maggie did every "cute" thing she could think of, even the "cute" stuff that she normally would not be caught dead doing. Before I even realized what was happening, Maggie was in charge again. "All is forgiven," Maggie laughed.
Well, all is forgiven for her. Maggie now has it out for me. I lived the sweet, #1 Puppy life for an entire half-day before Maggie seized control again.
Maggie trying to be cute. Disgusting!