Sunday, May 26, 2013

Long, eventful week

Your Diva is keeping an eye on everything.

It's been a very long week for your Mabel Ann. Many, many things are going on here. Some, I don't understand, so let me start with one event that I do understand.
Mama #2 is in trouble with my sister Maggie. Deep trouble. I mean, Maggie is ready to disown her and leave her end of the couch forever.
Now, Maggie and Mama #2 have always been tight. Mama #2 brought home Maggie years ago after the Ancestral (and possibly mythical - because she was so perfect) Brown Soul, Allie, passed away unexpectedly. Maggie was not readily accepted by Mama #1, because she loved the Ancestral Brown Soul Allie so much. Maggie became very, very attached to Mama #2.
Mama #2 took Maggie for long walks - just the two of them. She played with Maggie and let her go out in the front yard and the alley when she worked on the yard. When Mama #2 felt sick, Maggie was there, nursing her back to health. Mama #1 slowly fell in love with Maggie and now they are tight too.
Then Harley and I came and, well, Maggie and I have been trying to sort out who is No. 1 Dog in this house. Personally, I just want to be in charge of myself and Harley. Maggie can do as she pleases, as long as it doesn't interfere with what I want. No problem, right? Maggie is just in charge of herself and in staying out of my (and Harley's) way.
That brings us to the present.
Yesterday, Mama #2 gave us some rawhide. They are wonderful, tasty, fantastic and large, rawhides. I got mine, hid it, and took Harley's. Maggie took hers to her special chewing spot on the floor. Harley and I got on the couch and laid out, covering the entire middle part. It's not that we are trying to keep Maggie off the couch, it's just that we are taking up the entire couch (except for Mama #1 and Mama #2's spot).
Maggie chewed, laying on the floor, for while with her back to us. After awhile, she disappeared, then came back with MY HIDDEN RAWHIDE! She kinda smirked at me and then jumped on Mama #1's lap. I growled at her (because she had MY rawhide!). Maggie growled back. Harley quickly disappeared.
Now, we can't do much growling on the couch because the Mama's don't tolerate it and we get into bad, bad trouble for doing it.
So, this had to end quickly. I lunged for my rawhide while snarling a bit and Maggie growled, "I found it, it's mine."
What happened next is kind of a blur, it happened so quickly. Mama #2 grabbed me and pulled me away from BOTH of my rawhides! Maggie jumped on both of my rawhides and again growled. Mama #2 told her "no growling," but Maggie continued to growl and got in my face, saying, "gotcha!" Mama #2 didn't understand this was just between Maggie and me, so she squirted Maggie with water! She hit her with a stream of water right in the middle of her ear! As the water ran down her big, beautiful, black, floppy ear, Maggie looked horrified and terribly hurt that her favorite Mama would fire on her like that. Mortally  & emotionally wounded, Maggie sought the comfort of Mama #1. 
I was shocked. I thought Mama #2 would just separate us; I never expected her to shoot Maggie. I gazed over at poor Maggie, huddled in Mama #1's arms. I watched Mama #1 gently wipe the dripping water off of Maggie's ear. Maggie looked so hurt as she gazed at Mama #2, that she didn't even give me the stink eye as I grabbed all 3 rawhides. 
Maggie then averted her eyes so she didn't have to look at Mama #2 ----now Mama  #nothing.
I've stayed close to Mama #2 ever since. I know her heart must be broken after shooting Maggie. Maggie has disowned her; she acts as if she doesn't exist, Mama #nonexistent. 
I won the battle to be top dog, but I feel like I've lost the war and a friend. The rawhide wasn't worth it.
The Diva has to find a way to make this better. Mama #nothing picked up Maggie to talk to her this afternoon, and Maggie couldn't get away fast enough. She's got her back turned on Mama #nothing/nonexistent.
There's more that's happened this week, but this is the most important. I'll update you as this acute situation continues.
Maggie turning her back on Mama #Nothing

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Dear City Street Department...

Dear City Street Department,
Pay attention! This is Mabel the Diva talking to you. Yes, THAT Mabel. The famous blogging Mabel.
Since you've been reading my blog (Everyone reads my blog), you know that I hate marching in the streets (my sisters love it and call it "walking," but I am forced to do it, so I call it MARCHING!).
What did you do to the streets? They are oily and smelly and nasty!
Harley and I examining the smelly, sticky road. I'm on the left, just in case you can't tell us apart.
Maggie, Harley and I heard you making lots of noise yesterday afternoon on the streets around our home (Yes, Harley did bark). Then, came the smell. The horrible, awful, tarry, oily smell. Since we were locked up in our yard, we couldn't see much. Fia, the dog next door watched you and gave us updates, "They're making a big mess, a big mess, a big mess!"
When it came time for my evening forced march, I bravely held my breath and stepped outside. I didn't know what to expect. Whew! What a stink!
Here I am, standing on the oily, gunky, smelly mess on the road.
You (The Street Department) treated all the streets in my walking area this past week. Mama #2 has done her best to avoid making us walk on them, but tonight, all the streets around our house had just been treated. The only way to avoid them would be to stay at home. And you know Mama #2; she loves making me march far to much to let me stay home, snoozing under my favorite blanket on the couch. 
Me and Harley, bravely marching down the smelly, nasty road. (Harley's my twin sister. In case you can't tell us apart, she's the smaller one, on the right).

So, Wicked Street Department, you've done your dirty work. Get out of my neighborhood with your nasty, smelly stuff and quit messing with my marching route!
Did I scare you? Good. This Diva is looking for ways to get her revenge......evil Diva chuckle....

Saturday, May 18, 2013

A Word about Harley....

This is Harley, my identical twin sister
I love my sister; I really do. Harley is my twin and my best friend. She's been right beside me all of my life and I don't know what I'd do without her.
(I know, you're waiting for the "but").
Harley has a disability. You'd never know it by looking at her, because she's an almost perfect looking dachshund, just like me! (We ARE identical, you know).
Lately, her disability has almost overwhelmed Mama #2. Yes, Harley's anxiety is spinning (or barking) out of control.
For the past 4 nights, at almost exactly 1am, Harley begins barking. And Barking. And barking. And barking.
She runs outside and barks. She ignores Mama #2 and Mama #1 when they ask her to come in. 
She runs from Mama #2 when she gets dressed and goes outside to find her. Maggie sometimes goes outside and joyfully barks with her. Maggie also runs from Mama #2.
I, your favorite Diva, resist the urge to join them. I merely stay inside and behave myself.
When Harley is finally captured and brought inside, she still barks. She runs from room to room and barks and barks.
The Mamas do their best to calm her down. I even suspect Mama #2 has tried to tranquilize her! (Why else would she give Harley a treat after she acts so badly?!)
About 2am  Harley usually calms down and everyone tries to go to sleep. Once Harley gets back in bed, crawls under the covers and sighs deeply, I creep over next to her and put my paw on her. I don't understand and she can't explain to me why she goes off like this. 
We need to find her a really good dachshund psychologist. I'm losing sleep over this.
Here I am, trying to counsel my sister. (I'm on the right side. I'm the relaxed looking one).

Marching in the Rain....

Last night, I went on another forced march. Although I hate marching in general, it's not been bad lately because the weather is been nice. When the evening is too hot to march, Mama #2 waits until the sun sets to take us out. So it's cool and breezy while we march.
Last night, we marched to one of my favorite places: the duck pond. Usually, we just stand and look at the ducks for a minute, but this time we actually walked along side of the pond. Mama #2 let us admire the smells and watch the ducks. We were all very well behaved, because we don't get to do this very often.
This is my favorite pond
As you can see, it was a very pretty evening. We marched around the lake and were just getting ready to leave the area when,
Now, who besides a gadget freak, takes a picture right after they are hit with a wall of water? I rest my case, Mama #2 is a total gadget freak!
I was blindsided by a wall of water! This black thing crept up out of the ground and sprayed water all over your Diva!
Mama #2 got soaking wet too. So did Maggie, but Harley jumped out of the way.
(Evil Diva laugh...)
Anyway, for a moment, it was almost funny watching Mama #2 try to find a way out of the park without getting even wetter! Everywhere we turned, a new sprinkler popped up out of the ground and started spraying water.
Mama #2 thought we could walk past the sprinklers by cutting through a field (it had stickers!!) to get back to the road. I stopped and held up my paw and refused to walk. Harley and Maggie immediately held up theirs too, when they realized I was protesting (Doxie solidarity!). Mama never found any stickers in our paws, but she got the message, we weren't marching through that field! We wound up running through a ditch, and Mama #2 tried to time our running between hits of the sprinklers.
Because of this crisis, we were gone marching a very long time, and Mama #2 had to call Mama #1 and let her know we were OK. Mama #1 offered to drive and pick us up (YES!), but Mama #425 (number drop!) told her we were fine (speak for yourself, Mama #425!).
It was a warm, breezy night and we were dry by the time we got home. 
Like I said, I don't mind marching much these days. I especially enjoy it when Mama #2 gets in trouble, 'cuz it doesn't happen very often!

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Rain, I hate rain!

This is me, Mabel, joyously running across my yard. Check out my amazing physique! 

Mabel here, your favorite Diva.
Today, I want to talk about rain.
You know, rain, that wet stuff that falls from the sky. I mean the type of rain that Mama #345* turns off and on. The rain that just falls on the front yard.
Mama #345 turned the rain on for the front yard tonight; I watched the rain go back and forth, back and forth across the yard. The grass in front of the house is nice and green.
Have you seen my pictures from my back yard? It's dry, brown, and prickly.  Why doesn't Mama #345 make it rain in my backyard? I am so tired of dust and dirt and crackly brown stuff! 
I want nice, soft, tall, green grass to walk through. I want soft grass to lay on. I want tall, thick grass to grow so that my pecans are hidden from Mama #345 (I only eat a pound or two every day--I don't know why she takes away all my pecans!). 
I'd like some soft ground to dig in, please.
After we have some real rain, the kind of rain that falls everywhere (and Mama #345 can't turn it off and on), Mama #345 goes out in my yard pulls up some of the sparse green stuff and throws it away. I watch her very, very closely. I'm trying to figure out what she's doing. Since she's pulling up green stuff,  I give her my best stink eye (She's pulling up my green stuff!! She calls it "weeds.")
Sometimes, I try to help. I dig up some green stuff, just like she does. She doesn't appreciate me. She tells me not to dig up the green stuff, so I dig in the ground instead. I dig hard and I dig deep. (I love digging!)  I'm really enjoy myself and am creating a really nice hole, when she suddenly drags me inside and pours water all over me! My paws and elbows were just a little bit muddy--my chest and hind legs weren't even dirty!
Pour that water on my yard! I'm just trying to help!
*I have 2 Mamas; If they are on my good side, they are Mama #1 and Mama #2. If they have done/are doing something I don't like, their number drops in proportion to their misdeed. Stealing my pecans is definitely worth a drop from Mama #2 to Mama #345.
**Mama #1 rarely drops below #1. Mama #2 regularly drops to Mama #2000+; especially when she takes me for a forced march (She calls them, "walks").

Monday, May 13, 2013

Mixed feelings

I'm dealing with totally mixed feelings today; my beloved twin sister is having her 15 minutes of fame, and I am left in the shadows. 
Horrifying, isn't it?
Yes, dear Harley is a featured dachshund on the Facebook page, "Join us if you love dachshunds."

Harley completely deserves the honor, but I do wish one of the pictures of us together might have been selected for the honor. Harley never wanted the spotlight; I DO!
Since we are identical twins, maybe I should just tell everyone that this is MY picture; Harley won't mind...

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Harley the Brave

Harley, my twin sister

One sunny day last summer, Harley and I were exploring our yard. Maggie was sleeping in the other room (she likes her privacy) and the Mamas were out for the day. 
Harley and I were having a great day. We chased each other. We dug a few holes in the ground, ate a few (well, I may have eaten a pound or two) pecans. We lay in the warm sunshine and soaked up some rays, snoozing in the sun. It was a really nice day.
Suddenly, Harley started barking. I was sound asleep, so I slowly woke up as she began to bark more frantically. "Harley, what's wrong?" I asked her.
"Gotta get rid of this thing," Harley growled back at me. I lazily looked over my shoulder at her, and she was jumping at this big, long black thing. She'd bark, then leap, grab it, shake it, and jump back. 
This Diva decided to move to the porch to watch.
Harley continued to bark, leap, and shake. I could see pieces of the long, black thing start to spread over our part of the yard.
Harley was really going kinda crazy with all her barking, shaking, and jumping, so I went inside to my den to get some peace and quiet.
Then, Maggie started barking from the other room. "Great," I thought, I'll never get any sleep this morning." "Harley! What's going on?" Maggie barked.
Then I heard the Mama come in the front door. Maggie greeted her with a loud round of barking, saying, "Hurry! Hurry! We have to check on the pups! Harley's after something?"
I heard the door to our room open as the Mama and Maggie ran in. They kinda scared me, so I just watched. "Why were they hurrying so fast to get outside?" I wondered.
I watched Maggie leap off the porch and rush over to Harley, who continued to bark, jump and shake that long, black thing. She ran to Harley, looked at what she was doing, snickered and walked away. The Mama jumped off the porch and ran to Harley.
The Mama looked at Harley, and looked at the black thing, which was now in many small pieces. Harley stopped her barking and jumping and looked up at the Mama for approval.
Well, she didn't get anyone's approval or thanks. Harley had just destroyed the garden hose! (I'm so glad the Mama's can tell us apart. I'd hate to get blamed for something my twin sister did!).
  This is me, Mabel. The top picture is Harley, my twin (in case you can't tell us apart; we're identical twins, you know)

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Hello from your Diva! I'm sorry I haven't blogged lately, but Mama # 714 has been hogging the computer lately. I don't understand what her fascination is with the thing, but she sits and stares at it for hours! And I do mean hours!
Anyway, here I am! Just got in from this evening's walk---I mean, Forced March. I hate to admit it, but I have been enjoying my marching lately. Mama # 714 says it's because I've lost some weight and it makes marching easier. Hmph! I don't think so! (Then again, maybe she does have a point; I do feel like it is easier to march long, long distances...).
Speaking of marches, tonight, a big, white mongrel followed us for a couple of blocks. He didn't actually approach me, so I think my bodyguards, Maggie and Harley, scared him off. No assassination attempt on your Diva tonight!
Harley is still having some anxiety issues on the marches. I don't understand why she gets so upset, so I just ignore her and keep on marching. I hope no one sees us and thinks it's me that is whining and barking! 
Good News! I have finally convinced Mama #1b (I just promoted her because I like how she is treating me!) to let us stay out in the house when she leaves in the morning! Instead of being locked up in the back room (with outdoor access!), we are now locked in the back part of the house and can sleep on the beds all morning if we want to!! Hurray! I feel trusted! Mama #1b finally recognized that we can handle it!
Now, if we can just get her to leave the chewy sticks out...or take down the gate to the cat's room....

Friday, May 3, 2013

I Want to Clear up a Bad Impression.....

I want to address the rumor that many people (who never met me or Harley) seem to think that I am mean to my twin sister, Harley. 
I don't know how anyone could get that impression.
Harley and I are very close; most people can only tell us apart because Harley is a little smaller than me. 
Harley is a very loving and giving sister. She constantly shares her food, toys, and fleecy sleeping blanket with me. Sometimes, she even insists that I help myself to her food, chewy bone, or rawhide. Harley would give me anything she possesses. She's just that kind of sister.
We share food bowls and still sleep at night with at least one paw touching.
We love to play together. I chase her, she chases me. Sometimes we may play a little rough, but what sisters haven't played hard together?

When I say I jump on Harley out of excitement, or to help me think, or to feel better, I mean it. I do jump on her frequently, but she jumps on me too.
I know I've said stuff like, I took her ______ ; Harley didn't mind. It's true! She never minds when I take her stuff. In fact, she'd give it to me if I asked! She loves me that much!
Glad we got this subject cleared up.
Here I am, jumping on Harley. (She's the one on the bottom). See? She doesn't mind!

Here we are laying together. Don't we both look comfortable and happy?
(Harley's the one on the bottom. She really likes letting me lay on top of her!)

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Neighborhood Excitement!

Something happened in the Neighborhood yesterday. It was so exciting. I can't begin to tell you all about it, so let me interview some witnesses.
Diva: Mama #1b, tell me what happened.
Mama #1b When I came home for lunch, I noticed many police cars on the street by the house next door. I asked an officer who walked down our alley what was going on. He replied, "Did you see anyone running?" I hadn't, .....
Diva: Get to the point already!
Mama #1b: The bank behind our house was robbed and an armed gunman is loose in our neighborhood.
Diva: (OMG!) 
Diva: Maggie, can you tell me what you saw? 
Maggie: I saw you and Harley huddling in your den, scared out of your wits while I bravely watched everything from behind the big tree in the back yard.
Diva: (Sigh!) Let me ask my good friend, Fia, who lives next door. Fia, tell me what you saw.

Fia: It was so exiting! I ran and ran and ran and ran and barked and barked and barked! I told the officer that I saw a person running! They wouldn't listen! I barked that he ran that way! That way! He ran that way! 
Diva: which way?
Fia: That way! Past the loud, nasty dog across the street and past the yap-yaps who live with the cactus, then down past the Dobermans. I heard exactly where he went! 
Diva: Did they catch him?
Fia: No! The officer wouldn't listen to me. The Big Police Dog ran by and didn't even ask me what I saw!
Diva: Harley, tell me about what you saw. 
Harley: I saw lots and lots and lots of people. Then, Mama #1b came home and held me. Then, it got very noisy and this huge, loud bird thing kept flying around the house. And I barked and barked and barked and....
Diva: Harley, calm down dear. Tell them about the police dogs....
Harley: the police had these big dogs. I barked at them and told them to stay away from our house 'cuz Maggie wouldn't like it if they came in our yard. It worked! The Big Dogs went the other way. I heard the yap-yaps yapping at them. Then the Dobies tried to tell them what they saw, but the big dogs kept saying, "just the facts, ma'am, just the facts."
Diva: Well, this diva was watching all the action from our back porch. I saw a person run down the alley long before anyone else came by. I saw cars and cars of people arrive, and some stood in front of cameras and talked. Lots of people, lots of excitement. Mama #1b stayed home a little longer than usual for lunch and I would have cuddled beside her, but Harley was already there! So I just laid on top of her! (Harley didn't mind).
So there you have it! Armed robbers, Police Dogs, and Big flying birds! All in the Diva's Neighborhood!

Rough Day/Night

Your Diva is sorry to report that Harley and I almost died last night.
All we know is that, sometime close to 6:30pm, Harley and I began to throw up. Yes, gross as it must sound, we were very, very sick.
Mama's #1 & #1b arrived home just as we thought we both might die. Mama #1b cleaned up where we'd been sick and Mama #1 examined us closely. (She has medical training, you know). 
Mama #1 decided that, after gazing into our eyes and mouths, running her hands all over us, and putting her ear on us, that we should be monitored closely for the next 30 minutes. If we didn't continue to get better, then we'd have to go to the doctor.
Mama #1b went out and walked all around the backyard, as if she were looking for something. I guess she didn't find what she was looking for, because she came in and questioned me about what I'd done that afternoon (I didn't tell her).
Harley passed out under a blanket by Mama #1, and I cuddled with Mama #1b. She kept a hand on me and I very slowly started to feel better. I almost did what I always do when I feel good: jump on Harley. But poor Harley still looked pretty pale, so I restrained myself.
After spending the evening acting like she might die, Harley slowly started feeling more like herself. By the time Mama #1 went to bed,  She was outside barking. Barking is one of her most favorite things to do, so I knew she was feeling better.
Why did we get sick? Well, we know, but we're not telling. We just never plan to do it again. Now, if we can just make Maggie keep her mouth shut...